


The World According to Pygmy Puff (A 101 Dalmations AU)

by stjarna



Series: Writing Prompts / Drabbles / Requests [22]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 101 dalmations au, All mistakes are my own, And totally weird, Cause you know... Daisy's a fucking potty mouth, Daisy (aka Pygmy Puff) is Pongo, Daisy/Pygmy Puff's POV, F/M, In which Fitz is Roger, It's a bit of an unbetaed mess, Jemma is Anita, Some bus kids, Swearing, Tumblr Prompt, Writing Prompt, and Lincoln (aka Darwin) is Perdita, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:29:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9982883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/pseuds/stjarna
Summary: So, I was asking people for prompts for my 100th fic and miz-cat on Tumblr said: "100 is overrated. For your 101st fic you should do the scene from 101 Dalmatians when Roger and Anita meet. Bonus points if Pongo and Perdy's mind set is like Daisy and Lincoln."I couldn't resist.But, well, since my head canon for Fitzsimmons is that they get a Scottish Deerhound called Darwin and a black fluff ball (similar to Liz’s Maggie) called Pygmy Puff, Pongo became Pygmy Puff (but with Daisy’s mindset) and Perdita became Darwin (with Lincoln’s mindset... although the poor sod doesn’t really do much in this fic ;) )Anyways... this is what happened.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I haven't seen 101 Dalmatians in ages, so this is just based on two YouTube clips ;)

Pygmy Puff. That’s my name. What can I say? I’m a bit of a mutt. Black little fur monster as my pet, Fitz, likes to call me. He thinks I look like a genetically altered Pygmy Puff. It’s some kind of Harry Potter thing. The guy’s a total nerd. But he has a heart of gold, so I can’t really complain.

What I’m up to? Not much. Hangin’ out mostly. Going for walks. Eat. Sleep. Poop. The usual.

Right now, you mean? Oh well. Let’s see.

Fuck man. The apartment is a mess.

Look at this! The dirty laundry in the corner is piled up a foot high. The coffee table is cluttered with an empty pizza box (and he didn’t even let me eat any of it), half-finished Chinese take-out food (managed to steal a spring roll and then he panicked because there could have been onions in it) and candy wrappers ("No, Pygmy-Wiggly. Remember, no chocolate!" Yadayadayada!). The kitchen table is littered with those goddamn drawings and designs smudged with pasta sauce and tea stains.

Ugh, and that soldering iron. Fuck, the smell is disgusting. It’s like he’s trying to burn away my sense of smell. But not on my watch, buddy!

Look at the guy! Hunched over his little workbench, fidgeting with one of his inventions.

It’s so damn obvious that he needs someone. But if I leave up to Fitz, we’ll be a one-dog-one-human household forever. The guy’s married to his work. An engineer. Inventor. Gadgets to help keep the household more organized of all things. As if he knew anything about that kinda shit.

Oh, he’s got the brains… as far humans go. And I wouldn’t exactly call him butt-ugly. So, to be honest, there really is no fucking reason why the guy shouldn’t deserve some sexy, brainy chick to keep him company.

And, you bet your ass off that I’m doing my best to find him one.

Okay, so maybe dogs aren’t the best judge of what gets humans ticking… you know eye-candy wise, but I have a rough idea of what to look for.

And, so, I keep my eyes open. Sit by the window, you know. Scout the area.

There are some pretty crazy looking birds out there… bit too far out if you ask me.

Some are _definitely_ too stuck up, some just plain ugly, some a tad too MILF for my taste, others way below legal.

I mean. It sucks. I kinda feel stuck with no good options.

Well… WOAH! Hold your horses!

Now that’s a bit more like it! Hot dang giggity! What a handsome fellow! Scottish Deerhound. Tall. Loyal. Dreamy puppy eyes. Irresistible hair. And the woman doesn’t look too shabby either.

I’ll eat my own tail if there’s a better pair out there.

They’re heading for the park. Perfect! Now I just need to get my busy dude out the house and into the field.

Fuck. Not even five yet. Fitz never drags his butt away from that workbench until after five. It’ll be too late.

Dude, we’re not missing this. Okay. Shouldn’t have taught me so many tricks. Time to put my acting skills to good use.

Bring on desperately-needing-to-pee pup.

Phase 1: Barking

“Hey, Puffster, keep it down, I’m working.”

Fuck! Alright. Phase 2: Barking and sniffing.

“Seriously, Pyggy-myg, like five more minutes.”

Dude! Come on! Fine. You asked for it.

Phase 3: Barking and pretending to pee in his shoe.

“Woah, woah, no nononono. Hold it in, girl. Please! That’s my nicest pair.”

Hells to the yes! That did the trick. P.S. It’s currently your only pair, Buddy!

* * *

_[AT THE PARK]_

 

Shit man. I can’t see them anywhere. There’s the odd bird. The MILF. The underage. Come on, come on, come on!

You’d think a Scottish Deerhound would be easier to find. Dang it!

“What the hell! Pygmy Puff, take it easy! What’s all the hurry?”

Yeah, fine, maybe I’m pulling on my leash, but fuck it… they have to be somewhere! Plus, if you would stop checking your phone every thirty seconds, you wouldn’t fall over every time I pull forward.

Hold on. What’s that? Tall and handsome stud plus pretty woman accompanying him at three o’clock!

Well, well, well, look at that lovely tush you’re pointing my way. Uh-uh-uh. Not bad. Not bad at all.

What’s the woman doing? You’ve got to be kidding me. A tablet. She’s reading on a fucking tablet. She’s a nerd? Couldn’t be more perfect.

Okay. So. Now what?

Fitz isn’t gonna be any help. He’s just gonna slump down on the grass and stare at his phone for an hour and that’ll be that.

Nope. It’s on me!

I’ve got this! Follow me, Fitz. Show that girl what you’re made of. Front, back, and center. Strut your stuff. Let’s go!

Well, hello there handsome. Yes you, with your sexy fur and the puppy eyes and the ass that just won’t quit. Yep yep yep. I know I got your attention. Now how about your … Fuck yes, she looked. She totally checked Fitz out.

Alright. Take it easy, Fitz. We can do this! You got her attention. Now show her sexy engineer—

Oh, come on! Not engineer staring at your phone. No. DUDE!

Okay. Attention. I need to attract attention.

The phone! Of course. I take the phone and he’ll _have_ to follow me. No other way.

“What the hell? Pygmy Puff! Get back here. That’s my… hey… Pygmy… my phone… come on.”

You want your phone back? Well, shit, how about you get it from where I put it on the bench, next to the sexy brainiac I found for you? You know, the one who’s actually looking at you chasing after me like an uncoordinated monkey!

It’s right there on the bench. Come on. Get—

Fuck! They left? Where’d they… why’d they… fuck fuck fuck!

No. Not the leash. Fitz. Come on. She was right there… Her for you and him for me and… it was perfect.

You know what! I’m not giving up, Dude. This is destiny! I know it.

Follow me.

Oops. Did I tangle up your legs now? So sorry. That was _so_ not intentional.

You know, they’re kinda cute struggling to find balance together.

“I’m so sorry.”

Come on Fitz. You must have a better pick-up line somewhere in that big brain of yours!

“Well I must say! What on earth?”

Oh. Well. Look at that. She’s English. What are the odds? Perfect. It’s just—

Oh. No… nonono…. not towards the lake… Okay that was… that was…

Fuck.

Alright. Damage control. Let me grab that purse and bring it to her… It’ll look adorable: tiny black wet fur ball dragging huge purse out of the lake.

There. She even took it from me. Was kinda hoping for a smile there, missy. But okay. I realize, not my best idea with the leash-tangling and all that.

“My phone! My tablet!”

Oh, come on, people. Why are you so obsessed with those goddamn electronics of yours? Your sexy stud and I can live perfectly fine without those gadgets.

“I’m so sorry. Really. I don’t know why… _Pygmy Puff!_ ”

Oh-oh. That’s the I’m-really-pissed-at-you voice. He doesn’t use that very often.

“Please, just go away and leave me alone. Please.”

Oh, come on, lady. Wasn’t Fitz’s fault. He’s one of the good ones. Come on.

“Ugh. My phone is completely dead! I can’t even call myself a taxi or anything now!”

You really think you can find a cab that’ll take you and your Scottish Deerhound, especially when you’re both drenched from head to toe?

“Oh, I’m sorry, here… take mine.”

Dude. Seriously. Think for a second there. She fell in the water. You fell in the water. You of all people should know what happens to—

What the… why the…?

They’re laughing?

Like… seriously laughing.

Must have missed the joke.

But… they’re laughing, so that’s progress, right?

“I… I can fix that for you, if you’d be willing to give it to me for a few days.”

“You can fix my phone?”

“Yes. For free. You know, to make up for the fact that my dog tried to drown you.”

“You can fix my phone?”

“Yes. I’m… I’m Fitz. Leopold Fitz. Engineer.

“Jemma Simmons. Biochemist.”

Well… well… well… Whadda ya know! Worked like a charm.

Now… as for you, handsome… I’m Pygmy Puff.

Darwin? Well, Darwin, color me interested. You’re sending me sparks that make me tremble.


End file.
